Insecure

I’m insecure.  I know I am.  I don’t know where it falls in line with the morals and beliefs things associated with the words of the G-man but I know what can come of it.  If people weren’t insecure in themselves, would they ever try to be better?  I think not.  If you thought you weren’t smarter than the next person didn’t you study harder, or practice your jumpshot a little more, or hit the gym to lose weight?

I want to be better.  Within those fields of my insecurity I strive to get better at.  I want to start my own business.  I know I’m not good at networking, so I read about speaking professionally.  A lot of my insecurities have turned into strengths.  So keep my insecurities coming, I just hope I don’t take them for granted.

But Why Be The Best?

There’s a lot that can go wrong when you’re the best.  When you’re the best a lot of people are gunning for you.  A lot of people compare you.  A lot of people just plain hate you.  I’m in no way the best in a any field of my life and even though the “best” is just an unreachable title, we always seem to strive for it.  But why?  I can only think of one reason.  It’s because you want to keep what no one else has.  The security that you have by people acknowledging a gift or an ability is countered only by the embarrassment of losing it.  You think Michael Jordan wants to be below Kobe or Wendy’s being better than Grandma’s?  Obviously not.  We strive to be the best because life is a competition, and the term best is closely associated with it.

When I mentioned security I meant the feeling of knowing that even though glimpses of greatness might shine through in other people or things, nothing compares to you.  No matter what, people will consider you the best.  As egotistic as it sounds, being the best makes the individual with the title not want to give it up.  Ever.  Being the best means that they never lost.  They know that if they lose, all faith in him from others and even in himself can be crushed forever.  Think about it like this, if a power broker from a wall street firm constantly makes big deals he is elevated to a position in his company.  Now if he gets fired from his position and replaced by someone who took the same path as him, he’ll never get the same respect he once had.  Why?  In his mind, he lacked some skill or talent that the new “best” guy has.  He lost that security.  We see it all the time.

Does being the best last forever?  No.  But you want it to at least last your lifetime.