The Joy Of Reading

While I was waiting for my car to get detailed (who else is going to take car of my Benz? Ok Mazda) I walked across the street over to Borders and picked up a book I saw a few times but never really peeled back the cover.  I can always tell if I’m going to enjoy a book by reading the first ten pages.  The name of the book is called I Just Want My Pants Back by who knows.  I never remember author’s names. Anyway in the first ten pages, rather first 3, i come upon this glorious line that expands to my way of life.  It goes:

 ”The only problem with being a boy is the constant struggle between listening to your brain and listening to your penis.  the problem with being me was that somehow my dick had acquired the argumentative skills of a debate team captain.” 

On my way back to the car wash, I saw Chili from TLC too.  Still hot.  I am definitely going to enjoy this book.  And my car is clean.  {Sound effect of when people smiling and that shine sound comes on} 

N.A.S.

What does that even mean?  I know that I’m not shit.  I’m like the total opposite.  I’m like a favorite dessert.  Why isn’t there an “is” in the middle?  Anyway, I had a short discussion with my friend Patrice (Congrats, Centennial line) about this particular subject.  She claimed that good guys during this time of they year exhibited N.A.S. behaviors.  I countered by blaming it on the weather and the style of dress, and men have natural temptations which they will act on but will regret later.  We aren’t going to be like that all the time and if we are then sure I’ll happily take the title.  There is a low tolerance for B.S. from men among the female population and in a way I appreciate it.  I should be tight when I approach you but granted I will mess up, badly.  Men’s greatest defeat/”realization that he cares” comes when a women who doesn’t even know what he did yet, strikes him with guilt.  Will the woman accept it?  Depends.  

The Me

I don’t usually like to say what I am or what makes me but for the sake of seeing it….

 

I don’t like to use the word I but for the sake of this I’ll have to.  Humility and setting aside your pride is the key to manhood.  Looking at situations in different perspectives has made me empathize and therefore a little less quick to criticize.  I hate to criticize.  Everyone is good until proven otherwise. I judge a person’s character before their actions.  I don’t like being around people who have a negative aura.  I try to treat women they same way as I would treat my mom but its hard and I have disrespected a lot of women. I probably don’t have feelings for a female if all I want to do is have sex with them.  I’ve seen the best of love and the opposite of it and that has determined how I want to love.  I’ve never been in love and I refuse to give it away too easily.  Just as hard as I grind for a woman’s heart I expect her to do the same. I have a big ego that is constantly combated by my definition of manhood.  I love to see and make people laugh.  I don’t know why people are so morose.  I hate hate hate pessimists.  Open-mindedness is how we enhance our strength and work on our weaknesses.  I love my parents and everything that they have taught me is coming into effect now that they’re gone.  I wish my family bonds were stronger.  I look forward to dreaming at night because it’s the key to my deepest feelings probably about things I don’t even know about.  I’m really broke I just know how to front and make the best out of my money (broke = relatively speaking).  I’m a neat freak, sometimes.  I don’t even own a Bible but I feel like every time I go to church I learn something.  My brother is my biggest inspiration.  He doesn’t know how much I look up to him.  When I grow up I want to be just like him, head to toe.  Well with a better sense of style.  I’ve been through a lot and if I could turn back the hands of time, I would.  Yea, I would.  I want to get to know her better but I’m afraid of being vulnerable.  

How to Please Your Woman in 10 Steps

I’m tired of looking at all this media and having them define how a guy should dress, or look, or how he should please his woman.  All that shit is fucking up my life.  If you follow it verbatim you are a puppet and can’t think for yourself.  Sure if I had the money I would probably buy some stuff in those mags, but to look directly like that is insane.  When something tells me how to acquire a six-pack, how and where to get designer clothes, and how to make your girl orgasm 45 times in a night, then I have become a sheep and not truly experienced life.  I hate how much the media has dictated life.  I’m far from a muscular guy on Men’s Health but they have portrayed that as the dream guy to have.  Last time I checked David Spade was dating supermodels and Adriana Lima is on a benchwarmer.  We have been watered down into thinking where respect comes from and in turn that has killed our intelligence.  Some of the most powerful people in the world are void of any influences and because of that, they become influencers. 

I Feel You Diddy.

Damn, didn’t he hit the nail on the head?  I look around at my environment and I see a lot of it.  Bitchassness.  I can’t really define what in fact, bitchassness really is but I can offer my translation.  Basically it’s men not acting like men.  It’s not really in the sense of being macho or misogynistic but in taking pride of characteristics of being a man.  It goes from simple things from taking care of your car yourself, watching a football game, knowing how to cook a steak to more complex matters such as pride in your family, being steadfast, not being overly emotional or dramatic, being courteous to women, etc.  I see a lot of “men” that aren’t stepping into the roles in which they know they have to be in.  Responsibility plays a major part in it.  A lot of fighting or bickering that could be solved over a beer.  I look at this behavior and I get upset.  Men that act like women with their emotions.  If it were intended for us to be the same then I wouldn’t have an argument.  Basic courtesies between men such as trust, brotherhood, humility(when it is ok to accept it) are being replaced with jealousy, mistrust, and complaints.  There once was a time where it was simple.  When you came home with a tiger on your back you were a man.  Of course today, more is expected but let us still hold our reserve at least.  

Is iT our FaulT?

A lot of my peers are worried about the development of their younger associates at Morehouse.  They claim that the yard isn’t the same since we left or the individuals haven’t come into their own as we once did.  There’s a lot of finger pointing and blame placed on the younger generation.  However, we stood on the shoulders of giants and we expected them to do the same.  We tripped though, and they fell off.  Let me explain. 

            I’ve gone to all the speeches, participated in lectures, met world leaders and CEO’s and I feel that contributed towards my development as a Morehouse Man.  My little brothers did the same, so what happened?  As mesmerized as we were with the practices and strategies set forth by who was in power, our applications failed.  We thought that slander and negative propaganda was the way to go when it came to politics or any other arena whether it be SGA, greek life, administration etc., but we were wrong.  I remember my sophomore year I was handed a slip of paper accusing the current SGA president of something, I forgot. Then another one the next day about a greek lettered organization.  I’m not going to front; I thought that shit was cool.  As I matriculated (love that word, thanks Morehouse) through College I noticed a steady trend of this activity whenever election season began.  It became so common over those 3 years that is was just considered as “The Way”.  I remember sitting in a Senate meeting laughing and poking fun at the other Senators.  Man, it was entertaining.  Shit, I couldn’t wait for that Election Tiger to come out.  Neither could my peers whose names appeared in those “articles” and were accused of immoral practices.  To defend or denounce those individuals (some of them I hold close to my heart for personal contributions they have made to my life, so it would be biased anyway. Sorry) is not the purpose of this writing.  WE created and carried on this hateful tradition.  In the back of our minds, WE knew we were all brothers.  As traditions via Morehouse has taught us, united we stand, divided we fall.  WE fell, hard.  Great minds assumed alliances opposing other great minds and it became a battle of power, with smoke and mirrors.  I’m not saying great things were not done because business still took place but imagine if everyone was on the same page without worrying about their own secret agenda.  I always hear about realizing our potential as a people, but damn we held up that process for a minute.  In a world where the “real” political scene is marred by the same attributes, it was easy to imitate but we were supposed to know better.  At Morehouse, we’re surrounded by men (I mean administration, doctors, not us students) who are in a number of organizations geared toward uplift.  We definitely didn’t take our cue from them. 

            I sit back and I hate every week in April in which elections took place over the last three years.  I wore the t-shirts, sounded off on the blow-horn, and talked to the underclassmen.  That was just the tip of the iceberg of what was to be done and what was going on but that’s what the students believed.  They believed the words that were coming out of my mouth for that moment in time but as soon as they read that paper or received a mysterious slip of paper underneath their doors, all my words vanished.  THAT IS WHERE WE FAILED.  They didn’t have faith in our words and became abducted into a vicious circle that we perpetuated.  Trust and faith, the base of following a true leader. 

            To all of you who were victims of this, I’m sorry.  I truly apologize.  I know a lot of people are asking why I’m writing this if my name was never in the papers or was never accused of anything.  I’m not in a secret society.  I write this because I should have assumed responsibility for my brothers’ mistakes.  We are our brother’s keeper.  It is my fault.   

            I’m glad to hear that Morehouse politics are entering a new phase.  Sort of reminds me of another government that is about to be reconstructed due to a worthy candidate.  

 

On another note:  No offense to any poli sci major but if your goal is politics and you’re in a situation where you have to make change please don’t try to win the argument, just make change.  A lot of individuals are masters of argument, but when it comes down to actually doing the work, they forget how to tie their own shoes but are there for the ribbon cutting ceremony.  Got that from Obama’s book 

“I beat”

It’s funny (sometimes entertaining, sometimes disrespectful) to watch a series of events that lead to two people having sex and/or developing into a relationship.  The end result is usually a conversation between two friends in which the opening line either expresses complete disregard for feelings or slight euphoria.  The two lines being “Yea, I beat” (or whatever the young kids are saying these days to imply sex) or “I think I’m feeling her”.  The probability of the later coming out a man’s mouth is comparable to the chances of hitting the mega-millions.  I mentioned the process partially on a note I wrote on the book a while ago.  This time I’ll go a little bit more in depth.  Please bear with the numerous sequences of events and mindsets of individuals for it can be very, very disrespectful. 

Let’s say a guy meets a striking young woman in a party who’s with some mutual friends of his.  First thing he does is approach one of those friends and ask who that is.  Once he gets the general information he responds by usually saying “She’s bad”, or my favorite, “Damn”.  Now the gentleman is not shy in nature so he casually eases his way into conversation with her, maybe dances, or gets her another drink.  At this point, he still doesn’t know what can come out of this.  Now the girl, being beautiful, is used to the attention so she doesn’t mind his company, because he is “nice” (that is girltalk code for I think he’s cute and if given the opportunity I would, but I don’t know right now).  LOL.  So time goes on, he sees her again and gets her number.  Women of high caliber don’t want to give out their number without the intent of that person using it.  Of course, he calls and sets up a date.  Time goes on, they are still testing the waters.  No action so far, blueballs sets in.  So finally, she’s at his crib after a wonderful dinner, with a movie on.  Preferably a comedy or a horror one.  It is easier to try to do something when you’re relaxed from laughing or tense from murderous rampages.  They cuddle underneath the blanket and BAM, kiss action.  Nothing happens that night because she “isn’t sure”.  This is where friends start getting involved and shit might get complicated or better.  There is constant nagging from them about their status.  She’s more willing to open up while he still fronts.  At this point, she already has strong feelings but she isn’t sure if it’s reciprocated because he doesn’t show it.  Then one magical night, jungle sounds and fireworks are made.  It is at this point where life-changing decisions are made.  For him, he feels he has a lot to sacrifice but he kind of wants to.  For her, she’s already lost in the sauce.

 It is that first conversation with another friend that determines their next move.  Will he say “I beat” or “I think I’m feeling her.”  Communication is key.  

Safety First

Remember that scene in Fight Club where the narrator first meets Tyler Durden and they discuss the safety manual on the particular aircraft?  Well, all that is true.  After looking at the little pamphlet and watching the video I’ve realized that they want you to remain calm as possible throughout the drama.  Yeah right.  In the video they have all these people calmly taken out their life vest or their seat cushion and jumping out onto a slide.  The soundtrack to the video is elevator music-like.  That’s crazy, isn’t it?  Then the whole life vest is ridiculous.  Why do I have to pull the string to inflate it and blow on the tubes on the sides that look like they will stab the hell out of my abdomen?  In situations where an evacuation happens, wouldn’t people scream and try to push each other over to get out the plane?  I would.  Oh yea, the people sitting next to the exit door get prepped by the flight attendant by her asking them if they are over 18 and have read the instruction manual.  Sure, that qualifies them to sit there.  I need a trained specialist to sit there at all times.  I can’t even fathom the amount of responsibility these individuals have in the event of an evacuation.  They basically have to be the hero.  The fucking hero.  That’s a little bit too much responsibility to me.  As soon as I get that door open, I’ll be the first one on that raft.  Forget anyone else.  I’ll get the little black box while I’m at it too. 

 

 

4th Dream

I don’t really remember what happened in my dream until I started remembering.  At first, I started walking towards the door.  I’m assuming it was just a small gathering where she only sent a text message to only guys.  Not my cup of tea at all.  As I progressed closer and closer to the door she looked at me and said “Why are you leaving?”  I responded by saying something about the female to male ratio in the room that was in favor of my opposite sex if they were looking for someone.  She responded by saying, “Let me walk you out.”  I let her.  I mean, what was I going to say?  Then we were at the door.   She put her arms around my neck while I put mines around her waist.  I told you that she always winds up in my arms.  Then she starts to kiss me.  She went the 10% and taking my hint from Hitch, I took up the remainder.   We engage in this activity for a several seconds before she heads back towards her company.  But before she left, she hands me her phone and I start talking to her but when I turn back to look for her she is gone.  Where the company once gathered, there sat only one person.  I continue to talk to her on the phone and then it ends.  So confused, but not really.  I think it’s becoming perfectly clear to me what it is.  It’s funny too because I remember thinking in my dream that there is the girl of my dreams.  

 

On another note (kind of):  Hip-Hop started out in the heart.  

I know what I don’t want…

So I went out on a few dates with a female recently and it helped me decide what I don’t want in a female.  I’m not going to do a run down of her behaviors but I’m just going to say what I don’t really appreciate in a female.  

 

1.  She has to be able to relate.  Or at least empathize with others with people that aren’t in a very fortunate position.  

2.  Attitude.  I just can’t deal with it.  When you find something wrong with every little thing that doesn’t even affect you, then that’s a personal problem.  I like it when she has an attitude with something that directly affects us though.  

3.  Broke women.  OMG I can’t stand it.  Ok, I don’t mind going out and paying for dinner but at least offer.  AT LEAST!  I say every third time we go out, she should at least pay half or offer.  Just give me a chance to say, “I got it”.  Hearing you offer at least for tip, is good.  

4.  Being on the same level intellectually.  If we’re both not striving for perfection, then what’s the point?  If we can’t discuss current events then most likely I’m going to talk about myself.

 

That’s all I can think of for now.